writing

when i am listening to music, i notice some lyrics create a deep sensation within me. i actually feel something physically. there is no intellectualisation going on.

when somebody hits you in the face? what do you do? you take medicine na. but people don't constantly tell you, hey you are in pain, i will fix you. the medicine you took ain't good enough. i know better. they just trust that you will eventually get better. similarly, when something bothers you mentally, or a 'traumatic' event (event which shatters your narrative you have about yourself) happens, what do you do? you cope with it the way you know best na, but then why do they keep saying, hey you need fixing. i know better. how is this fair? is it not doglapan?

when we observe ourselves, there comes a realisation that there is no single observer. the observer is sometimes observed and sometimes becomes what we call 'self'.

one of my fondest memories from childhood was playing football with my homies in incessant rain after school. even if i fall.

i have stopped thinking in terms of generalist or specialist. its slave morality (nietzschean). instead i now think in terms of things i want to do and then go on doing shit i need to get it done.